I want to tell you first that my mother is from Western Sudan who will be considered a Northerner, that's also another problem for me to have one food in the South and the other in the North, I have many Uncles and Cousins died in this war and they are very dear to and we had a lot of good memories so I was so sad while casting my vote because they died because of this day so they were in my heart when i voted... the other feeling that I had is happiness and proud of my self, that am making history and a part of the establishing a new country in the South... the challenge that am gonna face is to liberate my self from all the negative aspects of my former life so I have to be more fucus in whatever I say or do, freedom is started with one's self so I also started to take good care of my behavior like make sure that not to litter things in the road and also started love my self and that will lead me to love others, also I became more tollerated if some did something wrong to you and am teaching my self forgiveness and do no harm to others because of my welbeing...
Living in Darfur where people are restrictly muslims and they have their taboos about other religeons, made wondering when I was a child about God and I used to annoy my mother with such questions... from the very begining there were questions about who am I, and when I was in primary three I started using Majok in the school and my uncle was looking at me with a lot of questions but at the end he told me that you can't use this name because it will not match your birth certificate...When we came to Khartoum in 1976 there is one thing on my mind that thee will be no Religeous studies in the school because I got enough from it in Zalengi. then came the conflict with our neighbors in khartoum North who considered us as "Slaves" and I heard that every day and that made feel like as if am not a human because of the way those people treated me and the stories that they say about us the Southerners and we will be the wood that make the fire in hell...the sense of minority started to grow in me and everytime I fought with one of the neighbors my uncle used to beat me on top because he fears the surroundings the problem he didn't tell us the truth so I have to figure it out by my self.
So when I voted all these thoughts came to my mind...
Despite all of that I didn't hate those who were telling these stories, I tried very hard to show them that am a human too and that by will be there if any help needed or advice and sometimes they were wondering about my capabilities in sorting out things and what was making very hard for me is that they never stop calling me slave, this history I will never forget it... when I grew older I found excuses for my uncle to not wanting me have any problem with the neighbors and he was protecting me from them... And because my mother from Darfur the same people used to insult me because of that and that all the time making me fight and at the end beaten by my Uncle. I remember one day our neighbor an elderly man told me that " you are speaking arabic and you are muslim then you are arab" the next day in the school I started going for Christian lesson and from there my relationship with Christianity started and I used to go to the Church and watch Jesus Christ films, so it was like a rebelion attitude against the system that oppressing me...
Living in Darfur where people are restrictly muslims and they have their taboos about other religeons, made wondering when I was a child about God and I used to annoy my mother with such questions... from the very begining there were questions about who am I, and when I was in primary three I started using Majok in the school and my uncle was looking at me with a lot of questions but at the end he told me that you can't use this name because it will not match your birth certificate...When we came to Khartoum in 1976 there is one thing on my mind that thee will be no Religeous studies in the school because I got enough from it in Zalengi. then came the conflict with our neighbors in khartoum North who considered us as "Slaves" and I heard that every day and that made feel like as if am not a human because of the way those people treated me and the stories that they say about us the Southerners and we will be the wood that make the fire in hell...the sense of minority started to grow in me and everytime I fought with one of the neighbors my uncle used to beat me on top because he fears the surroundings the problem he didn't tell us the truth so I have to figure it out by my self.
So when I voted all these thoughts came to my mind...
Despite all of that I didn't hate those who were telling these stories, I tried very hard to show them that am a human too and that by will be there if any help needed or advice and sometimes they were wondering about my capabilities in sorting out things and what was making very hard for me is that they never stop calling me slave, this history I will never forget it... when I grew older I found excuses for my uncle to not wanting me have any problem with the neighbors and he was protecting me from them... And because my mother from Darfur the same people used to insult me because of that and that all the time making me fight and at the end beaten by my Uncle. I remember one day our neighbor an elderly man told me that " you are speaking arabic and you are muslim then you are arab" the next day in the school I started going for Christian lesson and from there my relationship with Christianity started and I used to go to the Church and watch Jesus Christ films, so it was like a rebelion attitude against the system that oppressing me...
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