الأحد، 11 ديسمبر، 2011

أحونق

أجونق

جدتي...
كانت على جبينها
الكثير من الرماد
وبين حنايا أصابعها
القليل من قطرات اللبن
كانت
تحملنا على متنها
وتبحر بنا
وكنا نشعر بفقرات سلستها
وبين سطل الماء
وفروة رأسها
شتات من الشعر
تروح بين الفحم والدقيق
وكانت خطواتها
تروي لنا
ايقاعات الزمن الغابر
المشبعة بخوار الأبقار
وأجراث الثيران
وصيحات الفتيان
وفي نظراتها
كنا نرى آبائنا
يحملون الحراب المدببة
داخل النهر
يحلمون بالصيد الوفير
وكان لباسها المهترئ
يقول لنا كيف كان زواجها
وكيف كانت كالعجل
تقفز هنا وهناك
بين أبقار مهرها السبعين
والعشيرة تقارب رؤوسها
أن تصافح السحاب
ولما تغني جدتي
كانت تشكل ليالي السمر
واكتمال القمر
وقصة دينق وأشول
والحياة بعد الممات
جدتي...
كانت كل النساء
كل العشيرة
منذ نزولها من السماء
كنا نكمن بداخلها
بكل همومنا وأحلامنا
نرى بعيونها
ونتكلم بعقلها
ونسمع بتردد موجاتها
واليوم
تسكن جدتي بالجوار
في حوارنا
أمام حركتنا
داخل أسمائنا
وتدخل
مع شعاع القمر
لتنير جباهنا

الاثنين، 24 يناير، 2011

Exodus

خروج
شعر: الفاتح أتيم

أسئلة الخروج:
لماذا  يقاتلونك
عندما ترى نور
الحرية؟
لماذا يرددونك
أسفل أقدامهم
اللينة؟
لماذا يرونك
سجينا في
أقفاصهم القميئة؟
استفهامات الخروج:
خلقنا الرب
احرارا
عرايا
وحين نخرج للنور
نصرخ
ونضيف فرحة
للوجوه العابسة
لليال طوال
في انتظار المستحيل
عقدة الخروج:
ينادي الابن أباه
الذي خرج ولم يعد
والأم الثكلى
تربد على العيون
الساكنة
وتهمس للأذن
الهائجة
بأن فجرنا
أقبًل
قبِِل جبين أباك
المسجى
المدثر بالاحلام الحرة
فرحة الخروج:
هروَل العجوز
بأقدامه الثلاث
متناسيا
غبار السنين
وارهاق الزمن
تقدم الصفوف الطويلة
ومدد عينيه
غبطا
ليدق جرسا
حلم به في صباه
والآن.
ليهتف خلف الجموع
مرددين رنين
الجرس
لتملأ كل الأرجاء
والأزقة
والطبول والاصوات
الهامدة تنهض
تهز السماء
وتفرق الغيوم
ويسطع شمس
الحرية
وتنفرج اسارير
العجوز راقصا
أجوبة الخروج:
حب ساد الأجواء
عشقا للأرض
العذراء
وتغسل الدموع
كل الألم
كل الحقد
والفتيات برونق الأزهار
الندية
تروين ظمأ
الفتيان
بنظرات ساحرة
وتمسكن بأياديهم
والمعاول
وينثرون الخضرة
والأشعار
ويغني المغني المنظر
والطفل الفرح
يقتطف وردة
يهديها للرب
معلنا ميلاده
ويركض لاحقا الركب

أتيم جوبا 24 يناير 2011


الجمعة، 14 يناير، 2011

Rebels are criminals "1"


When SPLA started fighting in the South 1983, the first thing I heard in the news that there is a military mutiny in Bor, they announced in the news as a normal news. Then in the next day Southerners were starting talking secretly about Anyanya movement in the South Sudan… The Government started arresting youth to do their military service and of course do some practical exercises in the South, the good thing that I was still student so didn’t arrest me because of the school uniform, at that time I see many lorries full of youth and they used to call it “Kasha” and people also talking about getting them back to their native areas… So this continued day and night, and Nimiri’s regime took them to military camps and trained them to be soldiers, I think that Nimiri was aware of the movement in the South and it’s not easy for his regime and that why you can see most of the SAF soldiers were from Darfur, in 1984 I was in Zalengi for a visit and I heard the soldiers talking about SPLA and how dangerous they are and they call them them devils because they can shoot you in total darkness if your watch reflect any tiny light. The people in the North at that time they have been deceived with media and everyone sees the movement in the South as a criminal act by some Southern soldiers.
The Southerners were laughing secretly on the government statements, and they started to have a regular lunch invitations, I have never attended one of this lunch meetings but I assume that they were talking about what is going on in the South, and after few months two of my Uncles left Khartoum, I thought they left for some other business but afterward I figure it out that they have joined SPLA, it was a shock for me, and I told my self what about if they got killed in the fighting, they were my best friends and I learned a lot of them and they always encouraging not to let people insult me and if somebody tried to do so be ready to defend your self, and also how to make bags from cement sacks and then sell it in the market for people to carry what they bought from the market, because of that I have been arrested by the police, the neighbours informed the police that we are stealing cement sacks from one the houses, it’s funny because these sacks were useless for them and we go there and collect them in front of their eyes and they allowed us to take them, me and a cousin of mine have been taking to the police station it was a real arresting procedure a police car came to our house in "Halfaya Almolook", and searched the house because I was hiding from them then my Uncle asked me to come out, then I showed my self and took on the back of a Landrover 110 to the police station we sat there for sometimes and then my mother showed and talked to the policemen, what? I didn’t know till today…then we’ve been released and no one said anything about the cement sacks.
So we were very venerable if anyone said anything against us he or she always right and people believe what they said and never believe you, that why our neighbours were so keen to threaten you with calling the police, and if we saw a policemen in the neighbourhood that’s indicating that a Southerner is going to be taken.

الخميس، 13 يناير، 2011

Feeling free


I want to tell you first that my mother is from Western Sudan who will be considered a Northerner, that's also another problem for me to have one food in the South and the other in the North, I have many Uncles and Cousins died in this war and they are very dear to and we had a lot of good memories so I was so sad while casting my vote because they died because of this day so they were in my heart when i voted... the other feeling that I had is happiness and proud of my self, that am making history and a part of the establishing a new country in the South... the challenge that am gonna face is to liberate my self from all the negative aspects of my former life so I have to be more fucus in whatever I say or do, freedom is started with one's self so I also started to take good care of my behavior like make sure that not to litter things in the road and also started love my self and that will lead me to love others, also I became more tollerated if some did something wrong to you and am teaching my self forgiveness and do no harm to others because of my welbeing...
Living in Darfur where people are restrictly muslims and they have their taboos about other religeons, made wondering when I was a child about God and I used to annoy my mother with such questions... from the very begining there were questions about who am I, and when I was in primary three I started using Majok in the school and my uncle was looking at me with a lot of questions but at the end he told me that you can't use this name because it will not match your birth certificate...When we came to Khartoum in 1976 there is one thing on my mind that thee will be no Religeous studies in the school because I got enough from it in Zalengi. then came the conflict with our neighbors in khartoum North who considered us as "Slaves" and I heard that every day and that made feel like as if am not a human because of the way those people treated me and the stories that they say about us the Southerners and we will be the wood that make the fire in hell...the sense of minority started to grow in me and everytime I fought with one of the neighbors my uncle used to beat me on top because he fears the surroundings the problem he didn't tell us the truth so I have to figure it out by my self.
So when I voted all these thoughts came to my mind...
Despite all of that I didn't hate those who were telling these stories, I tried very hard to show them that am a human too and that by will be there if any help needed or advice and sometimes they were wondering about my capabilities in sorting out things and what was making very hard for me is that they never stop calling me slave, this history I will never forget it... when I grew older I found excuses for my uncle to not wanting me have any problem with the neighbors and he was protecting me from them... And because my mother from Darfur the same people used to insult me because of that and that all the time making me fight and at the end beaten by my Uncle. I remember one day our neighbor an elderly man told me that " you are speaking arabic and you are muslim then you are arab" the next day in the school I started going for Christian lesson and from there my relationship with Christianity started and I used to go to the Church and watch Jesus Christ films, so it was like a rebelion attitude against the system that oppressing me...